


Am I Falling In love? (With The One That Could Break My Heart?)

by hyeokkie



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Idols, Angst, M/M, Suggestive Themes, unsatisfying ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:22:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23630794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyeokkie/pseuds/hyeokkie
Summary: Sanghyeok reflects.
Relationships: Han "Peanut" Wang-ho/Lee "Faker" Sang-hyeok
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	1. In Retrospect

**Author's Note:**

> A literal word vomit.  
> fr just typed whatever I felt like typing and never look back so yes no beta but fuck it we die like men! 
> 
> (Title inspired by Dua Lipa's song Break My Heart. Also what inspired me write this in the first place.)

Sanghyeok glances at the man sleeping beside him and massaged his temples. He was sure that this wasn't supposed to happen, this wasn't supposed to happen, but the adrenaline of their recently successful comeback and the overwhelming feeling of seeing Wangho for the first time in months took over his rational thoughts. He and his group were celebrating their first music show in the bar they usually frequent in, when he excused himself to the rest room. Before he could return to their table though, he felt the familiar hand tugging on his wrist, and before he knew it he was being dragged to a familiar car and droved to a hotel room, his lips busy sucking on the exposed skin of the man in front of him whose hands were busy removing the buttons of the his pants. 

He can already imagine Jinseong's smug smile and Dongha's obnoxious taunts that he expects to get if they ever caught him doing the walk of shame later. 

Kkoma himself would surely kill him if he finds out. 

He slowly lifted the blanket off of him and tiptoed out of the room. He makes sure to hear the smaller man's even breathing before he lets out a sigh of relief as he slowly closes the door behind him. 

Sleeping with a fellow idol isn't the right way to go, Sanghyeok considers, especially if that person is called the country's innocent younger brother, capturing the nation with his sweet voice and even sweeter smile. He knew well the obsessive side of idol fans, as he have seen the extent of the things they're willing to do when they find out that their idols dare to be in a relationship. He have had experienced being harrased by sasaeng fans before and Wangho is a lot more famous than him, and they had the reputation of being a lot more vicious even to Wangho himself, so the fear of being found out lingers at the back of his mind. 

It doesn't help that most of Wangho's fans have considered him an "untouchable angel" , pure and untainted by the evils of the Earth, because it's mostly how he projects himself on the public. He's soft spoken, kind and occasionally mischievous, but it's the type that you'll find endearing rather than annoying. He just has the charm that will make people want to protect him at all cost. 

_'If only they knew the absolutely filthy things that comes out of his mouth when they're alone. The needy moans and the desperate sobs he lets out as he fucks him—_

A familiar heat fills his gut and Sanghyeok had to shook his head a few of times to regain his composure. Now isn't the time for that. Not when he already spent the majority of the night in Wangho's room, with him _inside_ of Wangho.

Sanghyeok spent the next couple of minutes standing in Wangho's cramped bathroom inspecting the marks on his neck and thinking of the possible excuses he could use just so he could get out of this situation alive. Their promotions are still ongoing and the fact that he had a galaxy of hickies on his collarbone and the expanse of his neck will be a bitch to deal with, especially with their concept being a bit more revealing to match the sexy theme they have. He can already imagine his make-up artist's flustered face when she sees it. 

He slowly walked towards the living room, picking up and putting on his clothes on the way. He spotted his phone on the floor next to the couch and opened it to see hundreds of texts from his group mates and their manager. He knew his members' messages would probably just be them clowning him, so he decided to just read the ones from Kkoma. He breathes deeply. 

_**  
From : Kkoma-hyungnim  
I hope you know what you're doing, Sanghyeok. The company won't be happy when they find out about the shit both of you have been doing. And his fans will be much, much worse. ** _

__

_**From: Kkoma-hyungnim  
I don't want your career to be ruined just because you can't keep it in your pants. Him too. You two will be crucified if this ever gets out. ** _

__

_**To: Kkoma-hyungnim  
I know hyung. I promise this will be the last time. ** _

__

_**From: Kkoma-hyungnim  
That's what you told me the other time, and yet here you are. ** _

__

_**To: Kkoma-hyungnim  
I'm sorry. You know how I am with him. ** _

__

_**From: Kkoma-hyungnim  
I know, Sanghyeok. That's why I told you to better control your emotions. It's obvious that he's just using you anyway. And you know you deserve better than that. ** _

Sanghyeok paused, his eyes trained on the screen of his phone. Insecurity slowly creept from the back of his mind onto his consciousness, and he knew that right now, no amount of denial would help him get rid of it. 

(And maybe it's about time that he face it.)

The idea of him and Wangho being in this... _whatever this is that's going on between them_... because of two different reason was something that he refused to acknowledge until now. 

Maybe because he's afraid, maybe because he's in denial, but the thought of Wangho only being in this for the sex, for the thrill of it all, and not the same way he does... 

(because being the fool that he was, he decided that the best way to go is to fall in love with a company mate that he's not supposed to sleep with in the first place).

He stood their for a few more minutes, his heart heavy. 

At this point he knew the reality of their situation and the consequences of it all, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. 

_**  
To: Kkoma-hyungnim  
I know. You think I'm not aware of that? ** _

__

_**From: Kkoma-hyungnim  
All I'm saying is you deserve better than to be treated like that. You're not even supposed to be sleeping with anyone. You're an idol, for fuck's sake, and so is he. The consequences of this when it gets out will be out of our control. I don't want that to happen to you or to him. ** _

__

_**From: Kkoma-hyungnim  
Just... go home Sanghyeok. And get some sleep. We still have a schedule for tomorrow.** _

Sanghyeok closed his phone, crouched down and closed his eyes, as he finally lets his mind eat him and his soul away.


	2. EPILOGUE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

Wangho woke up to the sun shining brightly on his window. He glance at the clock next to his bed, vision dazed and unfocused as his fingers reached out blindly on the sheets next to him, looking for the familiar form of the man he thought should be sleeping next to him.

It was only 6 o'clock and the sheets already felt cold.

He stood up and headed toward his bathroom, eyes focusing on the hand prints and bite marks all over his chest as he stood in front of the mirror. That along with the zap of pain he felt in his lower body reminded him of last night's tryst. 

His heart sank when he reached the living room and saw no sign of Sanghyeok anywhere. He took calming breathes and sat on the couch, reaching for his phone on top of the coffee table infront of him and realized that his hands were trembling.

_'Calm down, Wangho. I'm sure he just went home.'_

Thinking back, he felt that Sanghyeok was a lot more reluctant last night. His touches lacked the usual warmth than they always had, his eyes a bit more distant. Maybe he's getting tired of this. _'Maybe he's growing tired of him.'_

Wangho gritted his teeth. That wasn't supposed to happen. Sanghyeok was supposed to fall in love with him, not to grow distant. That's why Wangho had tried his hardest to pleasure him whenever they end up sleeping with each other, because he thought that maybe this will convince him to be with him.

(Confessing was out of the question because he's a coward, and he doesn't do things like that)

But then he caught the longing stares Sanghyeok started throwing his way whenever they see each other on music shows, year-end shows, and company meetings. It had been a year since they started sleeping with no strings attached (or so he convinced himself), and he could feel the older man's heavy gaze whenever they're on the same room. He didn't show any sign of the feelings being mutual at first, afraid that he's only being blinded by his feelings, making him see things that aren't actually there. But his confirmation happened after last year's new year's eve show, when Sanghyeok pulled him in a dark corner as the countdown started, looking at him like he's the most beautiful thing in the world before kissing him fully in the lips that had him curling in his toes. 

And last night... Last night was supposed to be night where he finally confesses. 

(

He finally saw Sanghyeok after months of having zero contact, their upcoming comeback making it impossible for them to even meet, and seeing him in that velvet suit made his heart do leaps. 

A tap on his shoulder snapped him from his daze and he saw the smiling face of Kyungho directed at him, looking proud.

_"Go for it Wangho-ya, you deserve to be happy."_

And that was the final push he needed.

) 

Upon opening his phone, he scrolled down through the numerous notifications, checking if he missed any important emails or texts from his manager and the higher ups. There wasn't any, and he let out a sigh of relief.

After a minute of complete silence, his eyes landed on his phone again, deciding if he'll call Sanghyeok or not. He wanted to know if they're still okay, if there was anything wrong, because him leaving without a word after they slept together is just uncharacteristic of him. He usually stays the night, because this is also the perfect time to catch up with each other, not to mention the morning sex.

(His mind drifted on how different Sanghyeok was in the morning. At night he was rough, fast, almost hungry. He bites and sucks and licks, uncaring of the marks he'll surely leave on Wangho's skin, and kisses like he's gonna swallow him whole, but in the morning, in the warmth of the sheets and the light of the sun filtering on the curtains, he was slow, gentle, sweet and sensual. He would trail kisses on his neck, on the back of his ear where he's sensitive, and he'll make sure that Wangho comes before he does...)

His phone's screen lits up out of the blue, and his fantasy was broken. He eyes his phone and the display name made his heart jump on his throat.

_**  
****From: 그대에게.  
I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry. You deserve better.  
**_

****

****

He feels the exact moment his heart breaks. 

Wangho throws his phone across the room and _wails_ , nursing his broken heart in his hands as he cries for himself, for his feelings and for Sanghyeok.

For what could've been, if he was a bit braver.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to throw tomatoes at me.  
> This is such a shitty (and lazy) ending but somehow the other ones I made were even worse so here we are. Sorry for that.
> 
> Thank you for reading. This will be a reminder that I'm not good at making multichaptered fics so I'm not gonna do it again.


End file.
